All Boxed In
National security, duct-taped boxes & Mar-a-Lago commodes.
I realize that some people keep reading material in the bathroom, whether it’s the latest edition of AARP (8 Life Lessons from Roma Downey!) or your neighborhood newsletter (8 Life Lessons from Roma Downey!). Sometimes you may even feel the need to keep classified government documents in there as well. I mean, there’s only so many National Geographics you can pretend to read.
At least that’s what Trump does. He kept boxes and boxes and boxes of documents in his bathroom at Mar-a-Lago. Like, how long is he sitting there? I’m slightly curious but also totally grossed out. The guy eats a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese and a McFlurry like every day.
If I somehow obtained a box of classified documents, there is no way I would keep them anywhere in my house. My 9-year-old daughter would definitely find them while searching for my credit card to buy more Robux to adorn her avatar. Instead I would bury them in my neighbor’s yard for close proximity and plausible deniability.
The indictment against Trump accuses him of holding on to classified files including information on nuclear weapons programs and national security. Clearly there were only a few appropriate places to hide these sensitive documents. A bathroom, a shower and his bedroom. That is simply revolting. All of it. In no particular order.
I mean, what is that? Why is Liberace’s candelabra in his bathroom? Also, why does he have some neutral shower curtain from Bed, Bath & Beyond? And that toilet looks like a child’s potty chair. I guess that’s for Eric. (Sick burn. Up top.)
Another official DOJ photo shows a box that’s fallen over in a storage room.
Seriously? These are a bunch of YELLOWED NEWSPAPERS. If a Washington Post issue from 1971 has anything to do with national security, we are screwed. Are we relying on some mathematical genius to look for hidden patterns in these publications to crack Soviet codes?
If the case goes to trial, Trump’s fate will be determined in South Florida by a jury of his peers/biggest fans/bedazzled voters and overseen by totally objective Trump-appointed Judge Aileen Cannon.
You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to serve on a jury. Naturally I would be selected forewoman, given my extensive legal background (strong preference for legal pads and constant use of ASKED AND ANSWERED in casual conversation).
I served on two worker’s comp cases. I was also criticality unemployed at the time. It was nice to have donuts and coffee for breakfast in. the jury room in the
Nacogdoches courthouse. I covered tons of criminal cases as a newspaper journalist.I never served on a.criminal case jury. I heard Trump faced up to 400 years in prison. I wish the feds could keep him in prison and revive him when he died, to ensure he served all 400 years. But I should say how I really feel ..,