Master of Her Domain

Come on Aileen, the special master & judicial overreach.

If you're like me (your basic nightmare), you've been wondering what a "special master" is and why Trump gets to have one. First, Trump's a big fat baby who gets whatever he wants, and second, the judge who granted the "special master" is a Trump appointee.

(Personally the term "special master" seems a tad bit antiquated. Probably because I'm WOKE and everything I say is WOKE and to be honest I have no idea what WOKE is but it sounds better than DEAD.)

Attorneys for Trump had asked for a third-party special master to review the documents that were seized last month by the FBI, which apparently has a huge vendetta against Trump and will stop at nothing until he is convicted in a court of law. This could include planting classified materials all over Mar-a-Lago or swapping out his decor with something tasteful to confuse the local authorities. The DOJ has since appealed the decision. Sore losers.

The judge who granted Trump's request for a special master is named Aileen Cannon, whose parents obviously didn't love her that much or they would've spelled her name correctly with an 'E.' I mean, "Come on, Aileen"? "Too-ra-loo-rye-ay"? That's just offensive. Plus, the judge is based in the Southern District of Florida. Also offensive.

The good news is that the special master, affectionately known as the judicial overreach intern, will be a neutral party who will come to a fair conclusion based solely on the evidence at hand like, say, a retired attorney, an outside expert, or the Supreme Court.