Youth is Wasted on the Stupid
Ohio, Defiance County & Gen Z turncoats.
The only time I’ve thought about Ohio was during their bizarre billboard marketing campaign a couple years ago trying to convince Austinites to pack up their backyard chickens and move there. To Ohio. With all those Ohioans.
However, on Tuesday I was listening to an NPR segment on the Ohio primary, where they interviewed a new 18-year-old voter named Rylen Bassett, who lives in some place called Defiance County. Rylen is a Trump supporter who first attended a Trump campaign rally when he was 10. Really? Because when I was 10, I was decorating my binders with scratch-and-sniff stickers. Dork.
In case you were wondering, Trump received 80% of the vote—a whopping 3,194 votes to be exact—in Defiance County. Trump won Ohio in 2016 and 2020 and will probably win in 2024 because Ohio’s the worst. (Disclaimer: I’ve never actually been to Ohio. I’m just extremely judgemental. I feel the same about the Dakotas.)
Bassett told NPR that he was the kid who wore a Trump shirt all through elementary school. I bet you were. If you were wondering why no one ever asked you to one of those excruciating elementary school dances with non-alcoholic punch, there’s your answer.
Bassett is heading to the evangelical Liberty University this year in Lynchburg, VA, a completely dry campus offering such majors as “Biblical Studies” and “Catholics: Why?” As far as I can tell, Liberty is pretty much like Baylor except a little more fun since it’s not in Waco.
Bassett and his friends (no time to confirm if they’re real or imaginary) recently founded a young Republicans club named the Roosevelt Reagan Society. NO. NO. NO. NO. Trump’s Republican party is neither the party of Teddy Roosevelt nor the party of Ronald Reagan. It’s the party of Herbert Hoover and Chester Arthur. Not a compliment.
What happened to Gen Z, anyway? I thought they were supposed to be like the most progressive generation yet. They were going to save us but it looks like they could ruin everything just like every other generation before them. Especially Gen X. In our defense, we grew up mixing pop rocks with Coke, which destroyed half our brain cells.
Apparently Trump is closing the gap with younger voters, especially, wait for it, keep waiting, almost there, young white men. Don’t get me wrong. Gen Z voters are still mostly Democrats. But, just remember that old adage.
As Defiance County goes, so goes the nation.