Up in the Air

On Biden, Hollywood, whispers & whatever comes next.

Et tu, Dr. Ross? Et tu?

Nurse! This campaign is on life support!

Every morning I wake up thinking that today might be the day that President Biden steps aside for the good of the country and, it goes without saying, Hollywood. Then I get my coffee and sink into that blissful state of learned helplessness.

On Wednesday George Clooney—one of Biden’s most prolific fundraisers—wrote in a NYT op-ed that Biden needs to stand down. Now that’s just cruel. Couldn’t he have spoken with Biden privately at Rehoboth Beach while biking on a Tandem?

This breach of trust reminds me of when my so-called friend took out an ad in our high school newspaper (“The Highlander”) announcing that I should bow out of the race for prom queen and let one of the pretty girls win.

In George Clooney’s column, he basically shredded his old compadre:

“It’s devastating to say it, but the Joe Biden I was with three weeks ago at the fund-raiser was not the Joe ‘big F-ing deal’ Biden of 2010. He wasn’t even the Joe Biden of 2020. He was the same man we all witnessed at the debate.

“This is about age. Nothing more. But also nothing that can be reversed. We are not going to win in November with this president.”

IS THAT WHY YOU RAISED $30 MILLION FOR HIM LAST MONTH?

George Clooney posing with a Madame Tussauds wax figure of Joe Biden.

Other celebrities who have turned on Biden include Rob Reiner, John Cusack, Mia Farrow (thank God she weighed in), Stephen Colbert (what?) and the 103-year-old Michael Douglas. Honestly I just want to know what Hall & Oates think.

Last night Biden held a press conference to blind the press corps with his pearly veneers and, quite possibly, hypnotize them. Especially paired with that creepy whisper. What is that? He says something and then whispers it into the mic. I’m not sure how a follow-up whisper helps emphasize your point but whatever works. (I kid. It’s clearly not working.)

Aside from referring to Vice President Kamala Harris as Vice President Trump, he did pretty well. (That is one low limbo stick.) My daughter was listening in while sewing pin cushions of her mortal enemies and she was like, he’s going to lose and they’re going to get some other Democrat and they’re going to lose, too. She’s 10. What does she know? But then I’m all, WHAT HAPPENS NEXT SOOTHSAYER.

(This is the girl who did a Google search for “how old do you have to be to move out of your house.” When I found that I told her, 5th grade.)

We all know we’re screwed. We just don’t know how screwed. And I, for one, can’t wait to see what happens next.