The Old College Try

We're not trying to make voting harder for you. Just less easy.

There are three things I remember about my college years. One, I graduated with honors and bring this up every time I can without making the other person feel less than. Two, fraternity parties were for girls too insecure to hang out by themselves in their dorm rooms listening to Nanci Griffith. And three, the very first time I voted was for pre-vegan William Jefferson Clinton.

That said, it would seem that the most effective way to encourage college kids to vote is to make it easy for them by putting polling locations on campus and handing out free “I Voted” koozies. But apparently, those innocent-looking polling locations are complete danger zones. Like Maverick danger zones.

Luckily there is one Texas woman badass enough to take on the powerful ballot box lobby consisting of the militant League of Women Voters and the LULAC Ukranian sympathizers. That woman is State Rep. Carrie Isaac (R-PsychWard).

According to KUT’s Becky Fogel, Isaac is seeking to ban the practice of placing these polling locations, which may or may not be landmines, on college campuses in order to make them “safer.” Not to keep kids from voting. God, no. Just to keep them from exercising their Fifteenth amendment rights.

Given her personal mission to protect vulnerable students, Issac is also vehemently opposed to guns on campus and favors sensible gun control measures such as expanded background checks. I’m just kidding. She’s a Second Amendment Defender in Ann Taylor flannel.

Apparently after hearing from concerned parents everywhere, Isaac is also looking to extend the polling place ban on K-12 campuses. Yes. I’m sure that’s what K-12 parents are most concerned about every time they drop off their kids at school. What a wretched woman.

And, let’s be honest. She doesn’t even look like that good of a shot.