The Censorship of Fools

Big Tech, the Supremes, free speech & simple grammar.

When I was in college, the internet didn’t exist. It was a simpler time, before the advent of iPhones and social media and weblogs. I didn’t even hear about e-mail until my junior year. My friend was doing a semester overseas and a guy in the computer lab (yes, we had computer labs) was setting her up with “electronic mail.” She was laughing when she told us because OMG HOW STUPID and WHAT KIND OF LOSER WOULD USE THIS.

Visionaries. All.

No need for technology! We have oversized sombreros!

Fast forward roughly three decades later, give or take a decade. The Supreme Court is hearing oral arguments concerning state laws from Florida and Texas (yet to be enacted) barring tech giants from moderating and censoring content on social media. “Florida and Texas” is such a nice pairing. Like twin brothers who are both total morons.

Are we now saying that “content moderation” is synonomous with censorship? Because I’ve been an editor/writer/disappointment most of my adult life and I rewrite absolutely everything. People used to call me the Poison Pen. I’m kidding. No one called me that.

At first I thought, great! Someone’s finally taking the initiative on addressing toxic disinformation and the absurdity of #hashtags! Instead, Republicans in Florida and Texas are alleging that conservative views are being censored. Which means Christian views are being censored. Which means Jesus just lost his little blue verification checkmark. Which means someone’s losing their spot in heaven. Burn.

This unjust persecution started when former president Trump ALLEGEDLY incited an insurrection, refused to leave office, called for the hanging of his vice president, and started a torrid affair with Ginni Thomas. He was then unceremoniously booted off of social media platforms by some tech companies who decided, for no obvious reason, that he was a clear and present danger to democracy.

Not only that but he only knows how to write in capital letters which is, let’s face it, the most ingratiating thing in the world outside of oat milk drinkers.

It’s Americans. No apostrophe needed.

False information is all around us, and not just on Facebook, YouTube and Twitter/X. Have you been on LinkedIn lately? Because if one more recruiter pushes me to become a LinkedIn premium member while adding that vaccines make your toes fall off, I will lose it.