Send Lawyers, Guns and Money

The bleep has hit the fan.

We always knew this day would come. We are trapped in the upside down. Through the proverbial looking glass. Stranded in the perfect storm. Trapped between those sliding doors with Gwyneth Paltrow where her life path is determined by which train she catches and in one she’s a brunette so choose wisely.

All this to say, we are smack dab in the middle of a constitutional crisis to end all constitutional crises.

When a rogue and highly unstable president decides to blatantly ignore the courts and their rulings, we are in some serious trouble. I don’t mean to be overly dramatic but I hope you have an underground bunker, a kid’s archery set, canned goods, freeze-dried wine, batteries because everyone says you need batteries, and some seriously fashionable camo wear.

Seriously fashionable camo wear.

This week in review:

• Customs and Border officials arrested a Palestinian activist and green card holder and threatened to deport him until a judge blocked his removal;

• A doctor and U.S. visa holder was barred from reentering the country despite a federal judge’s order;

• and 250 Venezuelan “gang members” were deported to a prison in El Salvador, ignoring Judge James Boasberg’s order to turn the plane around and bring them back from their spring break trip in Centro de Confinamiento del Terrorismo. Translation? “The Fort Lauderdale of Central America.”

(Listen. I’ve been to El Salvador. Everyone carries a machete, including toddlers. Venezuelan gang members don’t have a chance there.)

So this isn’t great. The administration is literally and willfully defying court orders. Trump even called for Boasberg’s impeachment, which prompted a public rebuke from Chief Justice John Roberts. Public statements are extremely rare for a member of the Supreme Court unless you’re hanging an inverted flag outside your residence or you’re out drinking with PJ and Squi.

Meanwhile the White House has responded that they’re totally acting within their rights by citing the wartime 1798 Alien Enemies Act. You may not have heard about it, given that it’s from 1798, but it allows for broad “emergency” powers and was last used during World War II to imprison Japanese-Americans in internment camps. So that’s not great.

Another district judge has ruled that Elon Musk’s dismantling of USAID violated the Constitution in multiple ways. Who else is going to keep the presidency in check if not for the judiciary? Congress? Because I’m fairly certain that members of Congress have all been fired by DOGE in a brutal mass layoff and Marjorie Taylor Greene is now working at Macaroni Grill.

However, on Fox News this week, Trump vowed to never defy the courts or their orders. But then he added, “We have bad judges. I think at a certain point, you have to start looking at what do you do when you have a rogue judge?” In other words, one-way ticket to San Salvador.

Do you realize what’s happening here? The White House is positively drowning in a sea of liberal activist judges who are trying to preserve the Constitution. And to what end? Civil rights? Justice for all? Don’t be so woke.

Personally I have the utmost respect for the judiciary. Years ago, my prayers were answered and I was called in for jury duty. I put on my best pants suit and packed a bag, assuming I’d be sequestered for at least a month. When I entered the courtroom, I mouthed to the defendant, you’re dead, although I later learned he was charged with stealing donut holes from a 7-Eleven.

Then all of a sudden the attorneys approached the judge and, as I leaned forward to listen through my styrofoam cup, they dismissed the jury. I’ve never gotten over it. Where else am I going to wear my “Call Me Madam Foreperson” t-shirt?

My point is, help us, judges, you’re our only hope.