Postcards From the Edge
Writing for dummies & saving democracy.
I hope you’re doing your part to help save democracy and protect final resting places everywhere by contributing to the Kamala campaign. (However, if you’re still undecided but are partial to worm-controlled psychos who abandon bear cubs in public parks when they’re not chopping the heads off of whales, boy, have I got the guy for you. Available on select ballots.)
I always have the best intentions when I decide to volunteer, like writing postcards to people in swing states encouraging them to vote. I signed up and they sent me roughly 10,000 postcards to send to people in TEXAS. Seriously? That is a complete waste of time, of which mine is precious. I thought I’d be sending them to voters in Pennsylvania and Arizona and Guam and Michigan and Wisconsin where I could make an actual DIFFERENCE.
Instead I find myself writing in my arthritic little chicken scratch,
Hello! Thanks for being a registered voter! Please remember to vote on Election Day and take a few people with you! Democracy is not a spectator sport! xoxoxo
And now it’s just,
I’m watching you.
Oh, and I’m supposed to buy the stamps. What am I, a Rockefeller? And who sends postcards in the mail anymore? The last postcard I received was in 1980 from my grandfather with a one dollar bill stapled to it.
After deciding to abort Project Postcard, I figured I could at least buy a Harris-Balz yard sign for $20 off the official campaign website but when I went to check out, I saw that shipping cost $17. It’s like they’re trying to lose.
Last night I watched Dana Bash’s EXCLUSIVE interview with Kamala Harris and Tim Walz followed by a BREAKING NEWS roundtable discussion about the EXCLUSIVE interview. Spoiler alert: There was really no breaking news, unless you consider Dana’s gotcha question to Walz on whether he and his wife actually used IVF to have their first child or whether they just used hormones and IUI. Now the whole country knows that he’s a serial liar who can’t be trusted with reproductive freedoms. Advantage Trump-Vance.
Personally I’m more interested in the whole Arlington National Cemetery rumble between the Trump campaign and the employee who tried to enforce the rules like, say, no TikTok videos on the hallowed ground of recently deceased veterans. Dude. Do you really need to be told you can’t film political campaign footage for a TikTok video at Arlington National Cemetery?
The employee was also pushed aside and later described by the Trump campaign as mentally unstable. Well, that’s what I do when I see a mentally unstable person. I push them over. And post it to TikTok.
Trump was accompanied by the families of two Marines killed in Afghanistan so he could pay his respects. I kid. It was just a cheap campaign stunt. You can tell by the group thumbs up amid the gravestones.
