I hate to admit this but I’m not really a podcast person. It’s like being the one person in the room who hasn’t watched “The Crown.” (Guilty.) In fact, the only podcasts I find myself listening to are true crime podcasts and even then I get too bored to make it through all 78 episodes so I just google it. Really? The jealous boyfriend did it? DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING.
But anyone can have a podcast as evidenced by Ted Cruz’s podcast, “Verdict,” which has been around for two years. Don’t feel bad if you haven’t heard of it. Just be grateful that he’s not one of those celebrity voices on the Calm sleep app. I don’t even want to listen to Matthew McConaughey. He sounds like a serial killer.
As recounted in the Texas Observer, Cruz is facing a Federal Elections Commission complaint filed by a campaign finance watchdog claiming he “brazenly” violated federal campaign finance laws through his podcast deal with iHeartMedia (née Clear Channel).
Basically Ted Cruz the individual can say that he isn’t technically being paid a dime by iHeart. However, the media group is sending $630,000 to a super PAC backing his reelection campaign. According to my amateur calculations, that’s 6.3 million dimes. I see a Coinstar in his future.
The complaint further alleges that Cruz “requested or directed” iHeartMedia to pay Truth & Courage PAC in violation of federal election laws. What a sleazeball. Did this involve clandestine notes consisting of letters cut out of National Review and slipped under doorways? Because if it did, I want in.
“Verdict” also has the support of the Jobs, Freedom & Security PAC, which does not provide jobs or freedom or security. Instead it champions conservative candidates and causes and, apparently, mediocre media.
But Cruz’s podcast is not just any podcast; you can also view it on YouTube. Fair warning. The episodes of Ted Cruz sneeringly pontificating much too close to the camera run 40 excruciating minutes. I’d rather be forced to watch “America’s Funniest Home Videos” with my eyes clamped open Clockwork Orange style.
After iHeart began funnelling money to Truth & Courage, Cruz said he would sponsor a bill that would make it illegal for automakers to remove AM radio. iHeart owns 250 AM radio stations. You may say that’s a quid pro quo but some people really do love their AM radio.
I’d take that even further and bar automobiles from removing tape decks. You have no idea how many mixed tapes I have from high school. Most of them start with Rick Astley and end with Fleetwood Mac, with a little Chaka Khan sprinkled in. And they are pure gold.
Ok the new winning line is "You can try to catch up but you never will." For some reason this one is hitting me today.
I don't listen to podcasts, either. I normally don't care what other people are saying.
Also "Jobs, Freedom & Security PAC, which does not provide jobs or freedom or security" wins today.