Occam's Razor
Mr. Abbott, tear down this concertina fence!
When In the Pink was a blog (short for “web” “log”) and not just a generic newsletter, we had a robust community of commenters who went by a variety of pseudonyms for obvious security reasons. One of them was Occam’s Razor. Occam’s Razor is basically a principle dictating that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.
You know that saying, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras? Me neither. When I hear hoofbeats I just assume that it’s the three horsemen of the Apocalypse. They’re waiting to pounce, most likely immediately following the 2024 election.
In Latin, Occam’s Razor translates to, Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem. (I know this because I’m fluent in Latin, both Colloquial and Pig.)
Why does this atter-may? Well, I believe that Governor Greg Abbott erroneously employed the Occam’s Razor principle to justify his simplistic and misguided non-solution to the border issue. He must have come to this conclusion by reasoning that the easiest way to solve this complex policy of immigration is clearly to put up a fence. Cue Occam weeping.
Incidentally I don’t practice the theory myself. Instead I indulge in a more convoluted philosophy known as magical thinking. Like when I want something and I drive through an intersection thinking, if I make this light before it turns yellow, I’ll get it.
Unfortunately Abbott’s magnificent wall was crushed this week by the U.S. Supreme Court, which ordered Texas to provide federal Border Patrol agents access to the state’s border with Mexico so they can continue removing the wire fence. You can tell the federal agents from the Texas National Guard by their shiny overstepping jackboots.
This is the border along the Rio Grande that Abbott had approved the installation of miles of concertina wire, also known as barbed wire or razor wire, to dissuade immigrants attempting to enter the country. Also, it doubles as a secure chicken coop for really big chickens.
(Personally I have a wire fence surrounding my front yard to keep out those earnest Clean Water Action volunteers. When I considered possible solutions, I felt that was the simplest and most correct action to take outside of standing on the curb clad in a “No Solicitors” sandwich board. Again.)
In response to a lawsuit filed by Texas last year against the Department of Homeland Security, the Court’s decision echoes previous rulings that the federal government alone has purview over border security. In a statement that only I read, Attorney General Ken Paxton said, “The Supreme Court’s temporary order allows Biden to continue his illegal effort to aid the foreign invasion of America. This fight is not over, and I look forward to defending our state’s sovereignty.”
He looks forward to defending our state’s sovereignty. From PRISON.
Suffice it to say, the Supreme Court ruling was a big old smackdown to Ken Paxton. I just love to see that walking, talking, smirking baked potato in a cheap suit lose.
Special note to readers. Sometimes SubStack sends things out that I’ve never seen before, such as this:
The only line I wrote was the one about my so-called livelihood. If I had known it would see the light of day, I would’ve been much more clever.
I’ll be discussing options with my attorney later today to explore possible legal action. Until then, go ahead and redeem your special limited-time offer.
Occam's Steppin Razor! Where they at??