Is the Pope Catholic?
Voting orders from on high.
I was at my Wake Forest [REDACTED]th college reunion over the weekend where I lost count of how many guys referred to me as “the one that got away.” I’m kidding. No one said that to me. But if their younger, much prettier wives hadn’t been there, I bet they would have.
While in Winston-Salem, I almost missed the Pope’s endorsement for president. Surely he wouldn’t endorse a known criminal accused of sexual assault, attempting to overthrow democracy and basically hating all God’s children. Oh, ye of little faith.
(To be honest, the Pope’s endorsement matters much more than Taylor Swift’s. Have you seen the crowds in Vatican City when Pope Francis gives his homilies? Taylor Swift would die for those crowds. His most loyal fans call themselves The Apostles.)
When asked for his advice to Catholics on how they should vote in the presidential election, he replied, Tum sunt porcos (Vatican Latin). In other words, voters must choose the “lesser of two evils” since “both are against life,” referring to Kamala’s support for abortion rights and Trump’s treatment of immigrants.
“Which is the lesser evil? That lady or that gentleman? I don’t know. Each person must think and decide according to his or her own conscience.”
Oh, padre. To equate that loathsome fearmonger Donald Trump with Kamala is awfully Opus Dei of you. And not in a good way.
Lately, when he’s not trying to save the innocent lives of pet chinchillas in suburban Ohio, Trump has taken to warning of nuclear war if he’s not elected. You know, global thermonuclear war.
I remember when I was little I snuck downstairs and watched “The Day After” with my older sister, which scarred me forever. One night I asked my dad about it and he said that the U.S. and Soviets are like two kids building up a rock arsenal and once they get to a certain point, they’re going to start throwing them. I’ve filed that under “Parenting Children to Fear Everything Including Everything.”
But back to Catholics. Not everyone follows the leadership. My family was friends with a priest named Father Dick Krafnick. (I attempted to spellcheck his name on Google but I got nothing.) He was a really good guy, empathetic, kind, personable, so unlike a priest. Which is probably why he left the Church to get married.
From the priesthood to marriage. I suppose you could say he chose the lesser of two evils.
(Up top.)
“Is the Pope Catholic?”For a second I thought you were also going to ask its Wisconsin companion question - “Does a bear sh*t in the woods?” I don’t know why those two questions go together here, they just do.