Forever Youngkin
The Virginia governor, the shady investor & the bachelor.
I was all ready to opine on new “Golden Bachelor” Gerry Turner, the first senior citizen of ABC’s well-respected Bachelor franchise, until I came across this important story in the Texas Observer. (Still you should know that 71-year-old Gerry is a “hopeless romantic” looking for the perfect partner to share the “sunset years of life.” And he plays pickleball. Score.)
According to the Observer, Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin received a one million dollar donation from Austin-area billionaire investor and Trump backer Joe Liemandt.
If you’ve never heard of Liemandt, you obviously do not hang with the Austin billionaires club like I do. While I may not be a billionaire, I’m really good at pretending I am by wearing a cape and monocle wherever I go.
Liemandt made his fortune as the founder of Trilogy Software during the dot-com boom. He apparently ran his startup like some type of frat house with a bunch of programmers playing foosball and attending swanky events with actual human girls.
I played a key role in that boom myself as a gainfully employed health policy reporter at drkoop.com until I was laid off six weeks later. After I had already moved here with my used Saturn and butterfly chair.
The Youngkin political donation in question was made by Liemandt’s “company,” the newly formed “Future of Education LLC,” which is apparently some sort of “shell company.” That’s why I’m using heavy “quotes.” They have no website and zero colorful Future of Education LLC t-shirts and matching tote bags. Suspect.
Liemandt has also contributed money in the past to Libertarian candidates and even President Obama. See what happens when you have too much money? You can’t decide which political candidate to spend it on so you just cover your bases and hope for the best.
(Joe’s wife Audra is a drummer for The Mrs, an “alternative rock band” that is so alternative, no one’s ever heard of it. This video’s definitely my favorite.)
The Future of Education LLC can be traced back to the Austin home address of Andrew and MacKenzie Price. (I’m not disclosing their address because of privacy concerns but mainly because I don’t have it.) Andrew is the CFO of Trilogy and of two other companies founded by Liemandt, while his wife is an “alternative education entrepreneur and reformer,” or “vampiress sucking the lifeblood out of public schools.”
MacKenzie is also some kind of conservative Christian marriage mentor which, needless to say, requires no professional degree or any relevant experience. I mean, I’m basically a marriage mentor giving such sage marital advice as, “Stick with it. You’re too old to find anyone else.”
From what I understand, Youngkin was more of a moderate Republican before the contentious gubernatorial campaign, when he went all in on book banning and shutting down those smut-peddling school libraries, ultimately beating the charmless and consistently ruddy-faced Terry McAuliffe.
Are you kidding me? I could’ve beaten Terry McAuliffe. The Golden Bachelor could’ve beaten Terry McAuliffe. If the Democrats had nominated anyone else, there would be no Gov. Youngkin.
And now this charter school-loving governor is receiving a million dollars from the Future of Education LLC, which is about as real as my Master’s degree. As F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote, “The rich are different from you and me.”
They’re also a rotten crowd.
They’re like Wilson Phillips but without the raw talent. However I did hear they’re looking for a banjo player...
Thanks for the link to the video. You must get their performance schedule and we’ll go dressed as our favorite band members. Although I can’t tell them apart. Are they wearing real pearls? It looks like they play in some modest Austin locations, but I didn’t see the Texas Chili Parlor. Do they have a record deal? How did they finance the video? Do they have t-shirts? Some investigative journalism required.