Check THAT Book Out!

Wackadoos, sociopaths & the real reason why dragons love tacos.

When I was at St. John’s Catholic School (yes, most of my anecdotes begin with that), we were allowed to read exactly two books: the Old Testament and the New Testament. You didn’t necessarily have to read the Old Testament to understand what was happening in the New Testament but then you’d miss the story about Jonah being swallowed by a whale and living inside it for three days. All true.

Being an English major of a certain age, meaning way too old to still refer to myself as an “English major,” I take personal offense at lawmakers banning books in public schools. And I’m not talking just a few. I’m talking like every last one except for maybe the Frog and Toad series but now that I think about it are Frog and Toad really just friends? REALLY? Also, Toad was clearly a staunch supporter of critical amphibian theory.

Naturally Texas is doing a pretty credible job clearing off the public library and school library shelves of the smut they’ve been peddling all these years. (See: Llano County and the so-called ‘Krause List.’)

In fact, Texas and Florida are pretty much on the same page when it comes to book banning. (See: Bruce Friedman and poisoned libraries.) I mean, we’ve got Greg Abbott, which is bad enough, but they’ve got Rick DeSantis who’s even more of a sociopath, according to the standard sociopathic scale.

In Manatee County, Florida, teachers are being instructed to remove any “unvetted” books from their classroom libraries or face prosecution. They will also be thrown into the ocean to see if they sink. This new policy is being spearheaded by DeSantis and any other conservative who is spending their time reading numerous books they deem “inappropriate” yet somehow “titillating.” Perverts.

The law requires that books must be free of pornography; suited to student needs; and appropriate for the grade level. Which begs the question, how are they defining what’s appropriate and what’s not? How dare you question the motives of completely unqualified yet concerned citizens who have deemed the children’s book “Dragons Love Tacos” inappropriate for obvious reasons?

Similar measures will take effect statewide, not just in Manatee County. (If anyone knows where Manatee County actually is, please leave it in the comments. I’m kidding. I don’t care.)

It’s not just libraries. It’s the decisionmakers. This year four new members were elected to the Texas State Board of Education and they are all, how to I put this, total wackadoos. Evelyn Brooks, Julie Pickren, LJ Francis and Aaron Kinsey.

The SBOE sets curriculum standards and these members are looking to eliminate critical race theory from public schools in support of charter schools, for example. However, they will not be eliminating critical race theory from charter schools; just other races.

The Texas Observer profiled the new members and, wow. Even for Texas it’s pretty shocking.

Wackadoo #1, Evelyn Brooks: Seeks to ban CRT. Lied about holding a teacher certificate. Homeschooled her daughters because she doesn’t trust the public school system. Religious extremist. Anti-vaxxer.

Wackadoo #2, Julie Pickren: Seeks to ban CRT. Participated in the January 6th riots. Blames antifa. Conspiracy theorist. Works with felons. Supports secession.

Wackadoo #3, LJ Francis: Received campaign funds from a known con artist and an organization that supports “school choice” privatization. Seeks to prevent “radical indoctrination” and “anti-American curriculum” in public schools.

Wackadoo #4, Aaron Kinsey: Seeks to ban CRT, a “rebranding of communism,” and the “left agenda.” Majority of contributors are public school defunders.

Those people don’t sound like elected officials. They sound like patients in a psychiatric ward.