Around the World in 100 Days
Unless you count Millard Fillmore, Trump is totally crushing it.
President Trump has been in office for 100 days. According to my Casio HL-802, we still have 1,300+ days to go. To put it into perspective, that’s like the amount of time it took to get through high school. In fact, his full term in office will be worse than my freshman year (I was 4’2”), sophomore year (hairline fracture from cheerleading stunts), junior year (perm) and senior year (prom).
I’ve always wanted to relive those 1,400 days. But as an adult so I could be all, I’m 5’4” now! In your face, popular girls with the boyfriends!
Trump decided to tout his enormous success outside Detroit, speaking for 90 minutes to a crowd of people in the auto industry who have lost their jobs and livelihood but don’t seem to care. MAGA Pride!! Side-by-side fist bump tariff emoji!! He announced that China “wants to make a deal” on tariffs which is funny because no they don’t.
In fact, this year hundreds of auto workers in the Detroit area have lost their jobs. But that’s OK because 25% tariffs on car parts make everything better. Not that it affects me since I already have my IONIQ. And I don’t even have to slap on bumper stickers saying, “I bought this car before South Korea lost its mind.”
At the rally, Trump said, “We’re here tonight to celebrate the most successful first 100 days of any administration in the history of our country, and that’s according to many, many people. This is the best, they say, 100-day start of any president in history, and everyone is saying it.”
Just to be clear, adding “they say” or “everyone is saying it” does not cement your already dubious claim. For example, “They say that everyone and their mother reads my newsletter.” Patently false even when said with the utmost certainty.
As for the “best 100-day start to a presidency,” well, I suppose this could be true assuming that every past president was in a coma for the first 100 days of their term. Even then, I’d take the guy in the coma.
Lincoln had to figure out the Civil War the second he got into office. George Washington passed the Bill of Rights and brought back the powdered wig. FDR was faced with the Great Depression and heroically saved the Bailey Bros. Building & Loan. And, they say that Bill Clinton fixed absolutely everything. Wink.
Trump, on the other hand, received a big fat red ‘F’ from a plurality of Americans for his first 100 days. A poll sponsored by PBS found that 45% of U.S. adults rated him an F including 80% of Democrats, 49% of independents and 99% of MENSA members. Only 23% of Americans, including over half of Republicans, gave him an ‘A.’ So I guess we could average that out and give him a ‘D’ for Dumbass. And that’s on a curve.
An F? Seriously? If memory serves, I never received an F on a report card, especially on Pass/Fail. And I was not the best student. I think I got all Cs and Ds in my Physics class senior year, which was taught by a man who had been struck by lightning. Not a joke.
So I may have actually been a genius at physics and he just mistakenly gave me the wrong grades due to misfired neurons. We’ll never know. All I know is that I’m not a world-renowned physicist and that could very well be his fault.
He is definitely crushing it, or anything else he touches!
Whenever I’ve had a question that involves physics, I’ve gone to you for an answer. But I never recall having a question involving physics. If I do, I’ll call you.